I'm not a trained counselor, but I would suggest seeing somebody. I don't know what country you are in right now, so I cannot guess why you can't see someone. There are so many new treatments now, I can't keep track. Counting compulsion sounds like compulsion, and as far as I know it is treatable. Depression can go with many kinds of disorders and you definitely do not seem schizophrenic or psychotic in any way. In Rain Man, the brother is autistic. Autism starts in early childhood and you do not become autistic. So autism is out as far as your counting is concerned. So, your counting compulsion sounds very treatable and it is best to find someone who can help you medically, I think. Forgive me if my guesses are wrong. I am only suggesting, and I'm not a professional. Good luck and thanks for sharing.
